January 14, 2009
For Immediate Release
ABC Real Estate
123Creative Way,
Logan, UT 84341
(801)-555-4567
New Real Estate Investment Company Opens in Northern Utah
ABC Real Estate offers second chances to low-income families
abcrealestate.llc.com
LOGAN Utah—The first trustee- investment firm in northern Utah is now open in Logan.
Preston Parker, the President of ABC Real Estate says he developed this company with the intent to help people progress and advance. “Our program allows people with different assets come together for the benefit of everyone involved”.
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What you have so far is really a great start. In your first sentence I think there needs to be a comma after Preston's title. That's the only suggestion I have, but I also wanted to say that I really like your quote at the end!
ReplyDeleteThere are different things you have to add to your release. the name of the president should be with the address at the top of the letter. You forgot to put a symbol at the end to let the reader know that the release had end. And also you need to expand it. Remember that the point of the release is to find investors so that should be the first paragraph. Overall you have a good start so continue working on it.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like you have included all the who, what, where, and when's in your first sentence without making it too long, good work. My suggestion would be to add the word to after assests in your quote.
ReplyDeleteOh! Hey i commented on your other one, so hopefully that counts! this one is great too! ha ha :)
ReplyDelete